Navigating picky eating in children

Picky eating is one of the top reasons families set foot in my office. I wish the solution was quick and simple, but the reality is that it's not our job as parents to "get our children to eat." Instead, it's about helping kids be confident around food and learn how to interact with it. 

Long and short term goals

In pediatric nutrition, there are 2 goals

• Short term goal: Children need to get "enough" food to grow and develop. If a child is not getting enough food, growth and development can be affected. If a child isn't getting "enough," it can affect their ability to work on variety - who can focus when they're starving?  At this stage, it's best to work with a professional to find ways to add more calories into your child's diet. 
• Long term goal: Children need positive, rewarding exposure to a variety of food. This is the life long goal of creating a healthy eater...a child who encounters food and is willing to experiment with it. This is a very sloooooowww but rewarding process. It involves teaching children about food - what it is, where it comes from, how it grows (cognitive learning) and also giving them opportunities to play and try food - grocery shopping, cooking, playing, taste testing (experiential learning). 

Picky Eating vs Problem Feeding

First off, picky eating is a normal part of human development. Problem feeding on the other hand is not. See chart below for the difference. 

(Please note that eating disorders are NOT the same as problem feeding. This article only refers to picky eating and problem feeding - not eating disorders) 

Do not "starve" a child into trying something new

It's tempting to withhold food or punish a child to eat something new. Many adults tell me horror stories of being force fed or punished at the dinner table. If a child has physical and/or emotional discomfort when eating, using more physical / emotional discomfort does not improve the situation long term. Sure maybe the child will eat (but not all do), but it doesn't make them more confident or engaged. It just makes them want to hide from the experience of eating.

STEP 1: Rule out medical conditions

Certain medical conditions can make eating miserable for children. If your child is having a hard time eating, work with a medical professional to rule out the following: 

STEP 2: Address eating behaviors and environment

Once you've ruled out medical conditions, help your child create a healthy foundation with food by establishing limits, boundaries, and responsibilities: 

STEP 3: Step wise process to trying new foods

After ruling out any medical conditions, it's time to start exploring new foods. 

It doesn't happen overnight 

After reading this, you're probably thinking, "who has time for all of this?!" Keep in mind things aren't going to change in a week or even a month. Instead, it's about slowing down sorting through your expectations. Here are a few tips to make the process easier: 

• Make a list of foods your child WILL eat organized by nutrient. That way, when you're trying to put food together, you have something to refer to...

• Decide when and how often to try something new. It's not always realistic to try a new food every meal, every day. But consider making a game plan for the days that make the most sense for you and your family. For example, if dinner is exhausting for everyone, maybe you include the "new" food at lunch or snack time. Or maybe playing with new foods isn't at meal time at all! Maybe you have a separate "10 minute of fun" in the morning or afternoon where you and your child explore a new food together. Maybe this happens every day or every other day. 

• Pick a food of the week to explore. Budgets and brains have limits. Consider choosing a "food of the week" to explore. Maybe you choose to explore carrots, so you start by having your child look online at carrots - where do they grow, what do they look like. Then your child comes to the grocery store to help you find carrots - fresh, canned, frozen. From there, you can prepare carrots SO many different ways - grated, chopped, sticks, baked, grilled, raw, broiled, mashed, with dressing, with cinnamon, with garlic, with butter, in muffins, in cookies, etc. The point is to show them carrots can come in a million different ways and that just because something has carrots, doesn't make it terrifying. 

Want more resources?

Hands down, Ellyn Satter is THE feeding guru of this century. Her webinars, books, and writing can teach you a lot about how to navigating feeding the family. Check her out! 

Stay nourished friends!