Are you getting in your own way?

We all have a set amount of time and energy to spend each day. And we each have a choice in how to spend some of it (admittedly, some “energy suckers” are non-negotiable). It can take some serious creativity and a different thought process to spend those resources wisely.

​It’s overwhelming…
Think about behavior change like you would look at a $$ investment.  We are all starting from a different place - some of us have a few dollars in the bank and others are starting from the beginning. It can feel daunting to think about how far you have to go- especially when you set a lofty goal of $100,000. It’s easy to say, “why bother?” and focus that money and energy elsewhere.
 
Instead of thinking about how far you have to go, break it into smaller, more realistic goals. Example, “Today I will set aside $2. And tomorrow, I’ll see what I can do.” If that happens every day, you’re $730 closer!  I see this often with diet and exercise.

​Imagine you have a jar that you’re going to fill with different sized marbles, each a different color. The goal is to create a gorgeous jar but use as many of the marbles as possible. Some of us have a jar that already full of some non-negotiable marbles. You ultimately choose which ones stay, which ones go, and which you want to trade in for a smaller size order to create your own unique masterpiece. Same deal with your healthy life

Current mindset:
​If I eat 1 brownie, I might as well eat the whole pan! This is the last time I'll do it... Tomorrow I'll be 'better.' ​Then the whole time you're eating the pan, you're rationalizing your decision
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​Current mindset: 
​If I don’t work out for an hour, it’s not worth it. So you wait until they have an hour of dedicated time (which can sometimes take a week to find!)

Alternative:  
​This is not the last time I'll have a brownie so I don't need to over do it now. I'll enjoy one now, slowly, without guilt and move on with my day
​

Alternative:
If I do 15-20 minutes of exercise for each of those 7 days, I'll log 2 hours and 10 minutes with way less exhaustion

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It’s exhausting…
Additionally, if you try to set aside too much money at a time, you feel pinched. This leaves you feeling depleted, exhausted, and unmotivated (not to mention poor!). Example, “I need to set aside $100 every week.” But if you only earn $200 a week, that leaves very little to cover basic needs like groceries, rent, utilities, cell phone, and car payments, etc. Not to mention zero room for fun!
 
Same deal with lifestyle changes like diet and exercise. People often try to re-invest huge chunks of their time and energy into a new lifestyle when it first starts. “I’m going to the gym an hour every day AND I’m going to start cooking all of my meals at home, from scratch.” While those are wonderful goals, that time and energy have to come from somewhere! You might start out strong, but before long, the other neglected areas of your life will need attention again. Also, if it has been awhile since you’ve worked out a hour, your body will be physically exhausted. This takes all of the physical pleasure out of exercise and makes you feel like it’s a miserable experience

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Current mindset: 
​I’m going to the gym an hour, every day. And then you fail miserably because 1 hour is exhausting. Not to mention it takes time to get to the gym, change, exercise, change, and then drive home
 

Alternative mindset: 
Where am I spending my time now? What could I trade in? Example: When I take the bus to work, it takes 20 minutes. It takes just as long to walk that distance (because this is Cambridge…). Why not slip in a workout? OR When I drive home in rush hour, it takes an hour. When it’s not rush hour, it takes 20 minutes. I’ll go to the gym or go for a walk until rush hour is over, and then drive home.

Current mindset: 
​I’m going to cook at home, from scratch, every day. 

Alternative mindset:
​How much am I eating out right now? Can I reduce that by 1-2 meals? Which meals will be easiest to enjoy at home vs out (breakfast, lunch, and dinner)? 

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It looks easy from the outside…
…but remember you might be walking in on the middle of the story.
 
Let’s go back to the financial example. Sometimes when you meet someone, you’re meeting them after they’ve already been investing for 20 years. After you save your money for a while, it gets easier – you’ve figured out where you to save so you don’t feel as deprived. And when you’ve got a system, it’s easier to find other opportunities to save and it snowballs. It’s less of a choice and instead just, “what you do.”
 
However, when you’re first starting out, it can take a bit to figure out what’s important to you and what you can do without. This is uncomfortable. Some weeks you’re ahead, and others you fall behind. If you’re constantly comparing yourself to someone else, you’re going to feel defeated and like what you’re doing “doesn’t matter.” But remember, $5 this week is $5 closer to your goal!
 
Same deal with lifestyle changes. At first, they can be painful as you’re figuring out how much time and energy feels comfortable for you. You see people posting their weekly workouts on social media and think, “that’s impossible…why try?” Because 10 steps today is 10 steps closer to a marathon than the person who never got off the couch.

Current mindset:
​Joe-schmoe is running 5 miles a day. I’m struggling to walk around the block. I’ll never be like Joe, so why try?

Alternative mindset:
​Forget Joe. He’s had 10 years of practice. Right now I can walk around the block. How would it feel to walk around the block and then an extra ½ block?

​Moral of the story:
Start where you are. 
Not where you “were” or where you think you “should” be.
Every step forward counts.  ​